amor familiar

I just sent some of this to the church list and figured i'd put it on here too...My great-uncle, who has been very sick for several months due to an accident, has recently been taken off of life support and moved to hospice care. I'd love your prayers for peace for my family as we respond to this, and especially that the Lord would bring strength and comfort to his sisters, my grandmother and my great-aunt.

My great aunt's husband passed away only a couple months ago, so this might be pretty hard on them...the first time I've ever seen my grandmother even look like she was going to cry was at this past Thanksgiving when she was hugging her sister right after the blessing...They're putting brave faces forward, though. They're so strong; it's pretty incredible. I love my family so much. I may think my own family is crazy and screwed-up sometimes, but...I really do thank God he put me with the kinsfolk that he did. :)


I guess I'm getting to that age, you know....It's very strange.

I've yet to loose a family member to whom I was very close, and it might be five, 10 years before that happens...who knows. It's just a strange thing to think about.

Sometimes I feel bad that I'm not more sad. I guess it's just different...I come from a family of believers, and so it's like there's a built-in peace for times like these...not that it's not difficult for some...but there is just sure comfort to be found in the Lord when those you've lost are with Him.

which is all ironic, though, because in spite of everything I just said (and believe), my "greatest fear in life" is to lose my mom or my dad or my brother. especially my brother. Is that weird?--not that I love my parents any less than Justin but...i guess he's just not "supposed" to go before them. It's all just strange to me i guess, my approach to death, i mean...Death is not at all something of which I am personally afraid, but when it comes to my family...like when i was younger, that's what my nightmares were about. I'm afraid it would break me. But i really don't know why I ever think about that at all (and i really don't, honestly); there's no reason to. Because, O Death, where is thy sting?

ok ok this is a really weird post, sorry about that, i guess i just...i think about weird things sometimes. author's privilege.