Oprah's Big Give - what do YOU think?

"Bundles of CASH...what would YOU do?"
-from "Oprah's Big Give" website

Now, Oprah's Big Give is a new show this season that "defies television convention with the bold idea of people competing to give rather than get."

And I just can't decide what I think about it.

Are some lives being changed for the better? I'm sure of it. Is this something Oprah cooked up because it was a sure-fire ratings coup? I doubt that was the only motivation...I mean, there are obvious pros to the show. I just wonder if the less-obvious cons outweigh them.

Is the "good feeling" produced by the show worth it, or is it just going to be a fad that will fade as does the show's novelty (or existence)? Does it just boil down to yet another an exploitation of the warm fuzzies for the sake of a successful sweeps run?

Similarly, some folks even question the value of American Idol's wildly popular "Idol Gives Back" show, saying that the amount of money spent promoting it isn't justified by the amount donated (though I would insert that SOME money definitely does have to be spent on promotion).

Questions, questions...if you're so inclined to respond, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

listen: porn is *not* okay.

I just have to say this - call it ranting if you like; I call it pleading.

I spend a lot of my time trying to make this world in which I live safer for other women, through helping with self-defense/rape prevention training and through the anti-human trafficking movement (a.k.a., the modern abolitionist movement). So I've become quite familiar with a lot of the stories and the issues that thread their way through the huge problems of sexual assault and sex trafficking (which overlap, of course).

There are a lot of causes for both of these problems, but one that really, really breaks my heart is the porn industry - because there are so many people, good people, who don't grasp the harm they're inflicting by engaging with the porn industry.

It's common, especially in this age of accessibility. It's so common that it's easy to joke about and write off--I know there are plenty of people who don't want to admit it's wrong, and plenty more who seriously don't see the big deal, period. But let me break it down for you:

1) Both the supply of and demand for porn create a need for "talent." Some individuals supply this of their own free will; some do not. Trafficked women and children are sexually exploited every day, in ways that you don't want to imagine, for the sake of sustaining the porn industry (as well as all other markets of the sex industry).
2) Maybe you personally think you respect women, but the porn industry feeds an incredibly dangerous mindset of contempt and disregard for women (again, like all other aspects of the sex industry). This mindset is what allows for unspeakable things to be done to women for the sake of money, pleasure and power.

So to anyone who is a porn consumer, or anyone who is involved with the production of it, I have no condemnation for you here, because I'm a completely imperfect person myself and am in no place to judge you. But what I do have for you here is a plea - please, commit to stop; commit to getting out. Find a way. You're contributing to something so much bigger than yourself. And it's something evil; there's no way around it.

(It's actually a bigger issue than just pornography and even bigger than the sex industry, but I don't have the energy to go into it right now....you can read this post (especially the end) by my friend Traci to see more of what I'm talking about.)

sfjoweghsl&*@#dj

I hope for the sake of The Frames & Marketa Irglova that they have a bunch of fans in the Triangle who can afford these kinds of ridiculous ticket prices, because it would be a disappointment to any artist to have a "sold-out show" in a half-empty theater.

Meymandi has 1,700 seats. They were all sold in less than one week. If that is because there are a lot of people who recognize and appreciate Glen Hansard & Marketa's amazing artistry, then that's okay.

If it is because a bunch of scalpers are trying to capitalize on an Oscar win, and thus effectively separating said Oscar-winners from the people for whom they made the music (aka, people who enjoy it), then that is not okay.

It's not that I'm complaining about missing the opportunity to see some of my favorite musicians. It's that I'm struck with the irony of Glen Hansard's Oscar speech closer, "Make art! Make art!"

...because the trouble is, SCALPERS RUIN ART.

it's official - she's going under the knife!

And under the drill, and...just going under, period. I had already decided that if I liked the Duke ACL specialist I met with on Monday, I'd go ahead and schedule my surgery with him, and that's what happened. I definitely feel like I'm in good hands, and he was also just a nice guy, which is kind of important to me in a doctor for some reason. Plus, they're slightly more innovative in their ACL reconstruction methods there.

It was kinda cool too because the resident who first attended me used to do tae kwon do and had done something similar to his knee, so he understood and was able to help me explain the mechanics of my injury to Dr. Garrett. I think I'm his first kickboxing ACL injury, go me ;) hehe.

Turns out I was correct about my left knee too, which I strained back in December: it was a similar kind of strain, except without the actual tear. I.e., I'm going to insist that my physical therapist work with me on both knees...it only makes sense, since my l. knee didn't have a chance to get back to 100% before I messed up the other one.

Anyway, April 24 is the day!

Kinda weird.

when Sunday School meets real life

The ironic thing about clichés is that, even though we're inclined to disregard them (or even look down on them), the very fact that they're based in truth is why they became clichés to begin with.

A big cliché in the Christian faith is "to surrender"...to surrender your life to Christ, to surrender your problems to God, to surrender what you want and think is best and to trust in the Lord instead.

I've heard that language all my life, literally - but like most of the "Sunday school lessons" I've learned since I was old enough to talk, it's so much more easily said than done.

What does that mean, to surrender? Seriously, what? hah. It's a continual process, I do know that for sure. I mean, there's the beginning, that first decision to trust in God and his promise of redemption...but then it's like the rest of your life is a continual series of chances to keep surrendering...or to hold back, whether you mean to or not. Not that God's redemption is conditional on your being able to keep it together, thank goodness, since there's this little thing called being human that kind of gets in the way sometimes..

But the irony about this is that things have a way of getting so much easier when you "give it up to God," and yet it's pretty hard to do sometimes. really hard sometimes.

melindapoesía.

I think it was sophomore year of college when I started writing poems. Can't say that I would actually call what I wrote back then "poetry," but you have to start somewhere, no?

It's so interesting to go back and re-read your own poems. For some, I know without even thinking what it is that inspired them. And then some of them were clearly (to me) written in times of great internal distress...and yet I have absolutely no idea what they're about. Kind of puts things in perspective!..

I decided to finally put them in one public place - not all of them, but the last few years' worth of finished poems, anyway.

It's been a long while since I've written any. Or written anything at all, for that matter. Not sure why that is, although I suspect it's because my life has been pretty darn good for the past half year or so. Not much apparent need for catharsis, you know.

Of course, if the past month or so is any indication, that may change soon, but that's okay; I enjoy writing and have long since accepted that my (and, probably most people's) inclination and inspiration to write almost always comes from a source of irritation (or worse).

* * *

A couple weeks ago I had the privilege of visiting my dear friend and former pastor and had a fascinating and basically life-changing conversation with him (which somehow always seems to happen when I get to really talk with him). Which I'll probably write about later. Anyway, at one point in our conversation, he recalled a friend telling him, "You are a poet."

To which he replied, "Well, I feel too damn disturbed to be of any use to anybody!"

To which his friend replied, "I've never met a poet who wasn't disturbed!"

Annnd I think that's just fine. Don't believe I could have put it better myself.

let the "games" begin.

As many of you already know, my little knee injury from a few weeks ago turned out to be a torn ACL that requires surgery. And that equals Melinda having a jolly time running to this appointment and that appointment and making this phone call to the insurance company and another call to the insurance company and another call...it's lovely...but something I'm really excited about is I have an appointment on Monday with this guy. He and his nurse are going to "talk with me about their ACL protocol," whatever that means; I just hope it includes "I'd be happy to be your surgeon" because I seriously can't imagine finding better credentials! As a friend told me last night, if you're gonna get hurt, the Triangle is the place to do it. hah :)

Thank you to everyone for your prayers and kind words and encouragement...I'm dealing with the whole idea much better now and am pressing ahead to move this thing along! Of course, the hardest part is potentially a month or two away, yet (the post-surgery rehab). I apologize in advance for the complaining that will inevitably slip past my lips once that starts...but hopefully the attitude I have now will somehow carry me through the coming 6-9 (-12?) months. Because, I am weirdly chipper about the whole thing right now, hah. I think that's because of all the people - including people who just met me! - who are being awesome support with the whole thing. Thanks! :)