oh, sighsighsigh

Hmmm…I now see what it is like to have a “real” life and to not actually have time (nor inclination, often) to blog! Yes.

Maybe I’m in good moods most of the time, and that’s why my bad moods are so dreadful and make me feel like my life has hit rock bottom. Because once in a while, in the midst of a bad mood, I actually remember that my life has not. Which is kind of an annoying thing to remember, when you are stewing or want to cry (or are crying).

This post was brought to you by Melinda’s personal Listen For the Echoes bank account.

Ps, Raleigh people…I am sorry I have been MIA for like two months. Hope we hang soon. We just can’t go anywhere fun unless it’s your house, fyi. :)

I think,...

that my skepticism towards all things Christian-labeled beyond myself and the people whose hearts I know is, realistically, something I seriously need to get over. I don't know what experiences could have scarred me for me to be so pessimistic, but something must have happened that I don't remember, because it's like I have to fight this urge to distrust everyone. I anticipate trite phrases and fake smiles and hypocrisy. I expect cliches and shallowness. I really hate that.

I visited a new church tonight, and the fact that I didn't leave feeling dumber or dirtier or (unjustifiably) holier and more enlightened compared to what I was around, has to be a good sign. We shall see where this goes.

I still want to shed my pessimism, though (and accept what "is" with the Body and move on). When compounded with my introverted nature, it most certainly is not conducive to the fellowship I am craving.