Why I hate election season.

One of the hardest things I have experienced, in this election season, is the difficulty of not being swayed by the opinions of people I know and/or care about.

It's pretty internally infuriating, because these people fall very hard on both sides of the election, especially presidentially-speaking.

I want to make up my own mind...and yet, I hear compelling arguments from both sides. And yes, you're reading this right - except for the senate race, I have yet to 100% make up my mind about who I am voting for in ANYthing.

At least I decided to vote, period, a decision that only came in the last few months. I eventually decided that it's not a good reason to vote just because I don't support any one candidate; instead, I hope to figure out who I'm in the least favor of, and then vote for the other guy. I realized there's probably a 0.0001 percent chance that in my lifetime, a candidate (for any office) will arise with whom I fully agree. So I'm trying to get over that.

(Actually, the ultimate decision-maker for me was when I read an article on the women's suffrage movement...I couldn't not vote after reading some of what I did. Even if it kills a little piece of me to vote for someone I'm not completely behind.)

I mentioned in a workshop the other day that I'm not a political person, and I could tell by some others' reactions that they thought this meant I don't really care about politics. This isn't true. I think politics are important, in many ways; it's just that I get so angry and frustrated with many aspects of the political realm (oh, pessimist me), that I can't even stand to think about it. There are other things more important to me that require my passion.

And that, my friends, is why I hate election season: I can hardly bear to think about all that it means, but since I have a social conscience, I kind of have to...

I saw a wonderfully snarky bumper sticker today:

"Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees,
and then name streets after them."

Touché.

I spent my teen years growing up in a place called The Glen at Harrington Grove (HG also consisted of the Arbor, the Oaks, etc...). To its credit, the older parts of the subdivision did manage to keep a good number of trees, sort of.

Of course, just outside that neighborhood there used to be cow pastures and a few scattered cottage-y homes. Now, instead, there is a shopping center, and I-540.

I thought I wasn't supposed to be able to tell stories like that until I had grandkids...

i do not understand

why every time i take a long nap, i wake up feeling nauseated. what an annoying ending to such a wonderful thing.

i'm sure everyone wanted to know that. :P

pretty fascinating!

Well...it is if your name is Melinda Irene Pearce, anyway.

I love reading old stuff I've written, especially poems. It's so interesting to me, that I could write something five years ago that I could have written yesterday, and at the same time have written something a year ago that I don't even recognize/seems like it was written by another person.

I think it's funny that probably at least 50% of the time, I can't even remember what prompted my writing any given poem. Just goes to show, I guess, that a lot of things aren't nearly as big a deal as you think they are, in the moment.

I kind of like that. :)

holy weekend, batman!

What a blur of a fin de semana...

Robyn and I brilliantly decided to drive to Charlotte (aka not Charlotte, but Cornelius) to see Derek Webb And Friends on Friday night. 1 massive traffic jam and several erroneous turns later, we at least made it in time to see And Friends. Well, okay, we made it for one DW piece, and then they kind of mishmashed around together...and it was actually quite good! ArtMusicJustice...it was rejuvinating, in a way.

Post-show and several more erroneous turns later, we finally wound up at Michelle's apartment (which should have been only 4-5 minutes down the road...sadly, it was not, thanks to me. Thank you Robyn for repeatedly saving me from my apparently-still-challenged sense of direction). And thank you Jinglchelle for putting us up, and for thinking about making us cookies, that really was sweet of you! :) haha

FF to 6am this morning...we drive to Durham, where I kindly ditch Robyn at Whole Foods and proceed to take my FINAL CLASS for my Duke certification for nonprofit management! Hurrah!!

Ironically, the class, which was Public Speaking, taught me some vital points that helped to calm my nerves for tonight. And by "tonight," I mean finally achieving one of my longstanding goals and singing while accompanying myself on guitar! (Well, "accompanying." good enough for me.) Hurrah x2!

And by "helped to calm my nerves," I mean allowed me to not just simply get onstage at all, but to enjoy it, too. Who knew? Although, I definitely had to laugh when Katie P asked me how many times I had to pee before I was on...yep, that would be four times. Can you imagine what would have happened if the nerves had been full force? eh. let's not. :)

And tomorrow...yet another challenge...I'm supposed to start Muay Thai again, or so urges my physical therapist. We'll see if it happens tomorrow; I'm thinking a long nap might also be very welcome. Though I'll hopefully get back on the horse soon. I don't believe I've ever had to do that for anything. I remain conflicted. But I'm at least going to try.

Overall...a whirlwind but grand weekend :)

if i were a female music mashup...

i would want to be:

her,


and her,

a good bit o' her,definitely some her

and a wholllle lotta her.

Where Did All the MEN Go? [an open letter to the male gender]

I have this friend, and she is awesome. The guys love her (really, everyone does!). She is a woman who will grab your attention, because she is just so beautiful, inside and out.

She's had boyfriends, and almost-boyfriends, and has been single for a while lately. She was recently asked out for a dinner date.

You'd think that's no big deal, right? But here's the sad thing. For all her dating over the years, that was the first time a new guy asked this amazing woman specifically out for a real, intentional date. No confusing "talking" period. No masking it as hanging out. No "friendlationship" crap. He was a guy who knew what he wanted: to take my friend out for a fun evening and get to know her more. And so he simply asked her! He didn't waste his time -- or more importantly, hers.

Let me tell you something - that, in and of itself, was attractive. And rare.

I guess when you're in high school and college, people are still kids and have to be all weird about everything. I guess.

If you are a male who is past college-age, though, I have a message for you: grow up, and man up to the challenge. If you're interested in getting to know a girl, do her a favor and just ask her out--on a real date, mind you. "Hanging out" is a misleading waste of time. (Unless you really just want to be friends, and then it's fine, of course! But in my opinion, unless you're already good friends with the lady, hanging out is most safely done with more people than just the two of you. No one likes mixed messages.)

Right, so she might turn you down. Getting turned down sucks, surely...but regardless of her response, if she's like nearly every woman I know, she will respect you a lot more if you are upfront, than if you putz around making her guess at what you're really up to.

(Oh yeah -- for this to work right, I think men AND women have to recognize a date for what it is -- a single square on the calendar. It shouldn't be equated with anything it is not, like commitment, marriage, love, etc. It doesn't even have to mean "I like you"...just simply, "I want to know you at least a little better." No pressure there, on either side. Right? Am I crazy?)

I know many guys have good intentions when they try to hang out with their lady of interest without actually asking her out. But you know how we women feel when we get the drift of what's going on? Oftentimes, we feel manipulated. We feel like you are trying to trick us into liking you. That is not fertile ground for growing respect, my friends.

And if you feel that the only way you can "get a girl" is to trick her, well...first of all, that's probably not true, if you're a decent guy with integrity; and second of all, it's your issue to resolve - don't do her the disservice of protecting your insecurities by being ambiguous or unclear. It's 2008, and upfront honesty is still the best policy.

(You've seen the movie scene...guy who's trying to ask out girl says, "I'm really nervous/bad at this." Does girl say, "What? You are such a freaking loser; get out of my face!" No - if she is a decent woman with compassion, she thinks it's sweet. :P)

So, to mash up my platitudes: if you can't do something honestly and openly, don't do anything at all.

I'm sure that should be taken to heart by everyone, not just guys. But I have to laugh (not really) that among our many stereotypes, we women are "hard to read"...we expect that men should be able to "read our minds"...we don't "say what we mean"...

These days, that door swings both ways so hard, it's about to come off its hinges.

Not being a guy, I don't know what the big deal is with asking women out, except for maybe that whole "rejection" thing. What a terrible word. When women say "no," we are saying no to a date with you. We are not saying, "I reject you as a human being." Just because one chick turns you down for a date doesn't mean that you're worthless, or that no other women could possibly take you up on it! Remember, it's just a square on a calendar...not the end of the world.

The funny (or sad) thing is, I don't know many women at all who are even given chances to say no...or yes.

So, guys, you should do yourselves, and us, a favor. Be courageous. Be honest. Be men.


[tasteful comments/rebuttals are welcome...]

ramble and muse (again)

i am listening to Shiny Toy Guns' "Le Disko"....if that song does not make you want to be a rock star, I don't know what could.

my life has been a ridiculous whirlwind the past few months, and while the job-related contribution to that isn't going to slow down for at least a few more weeks probably, i am forcing the rest to chill out. i miss hanging out with people i love. and i miss taking care of myself (sleep, etc.). i am excited :) i am going to paint again soon! i am going to play an instrument that is not the cello at an open mic night! i am chopping half my hair off tomorrow! i am getting to bed by 11pmish instead of 2amish!

[clearly, my job has sapped all the written eloquence out of me lately. :P but let the spastic sprawling thoughts continue...]

I went to my first therapy session on Monday for dealing with some family-related issues, and it was great and went by way too fast. i have said for years that I think everyone could probably benefit from therapy/counseling of some kind, and i am finally following my own advice. it's going to be...who knows what, but "ultimately a very good thing," i am quite certain. not easy...but good. i am so thankful for the opportunity. and excited about what it might mean for me.

i went to yet another funeral last week. my hallmate at work had a heart attack over the weekend. he was often the only one around when i had to work late into the night (he sometimes worked nights instead of days b/c of certain health issues). he was a funny guy, a gem i wish i had known better. i still forget he's not there sometimes. i walked into his office yesterday, and an open Coke can was still sitting on his desk.

i don't mean this morbidly, but i think it's so strange how much death i've had to experience this year. i guess i'm just grateful none of it was really with someone very personally close to me...though my heart goes out to those for whom it was..

well, there were many more thoughts swirling through my head, but now that Rich Price [if his songs do not make you want to fall in love i don't know what could] is playing, i am getting sleeepy :) goodnight. may my next post be more coherent.