I am antsier than others; some days, it's harder to focus on the matter at hand than on others.
These days, I'm all about the former.
Also, if you like dirty-gritty-sexy-but-solid rock, jump on the ol' Kings of Leon bandwagon, why don't ya (yes, that's a strange description, but you'll get over it). And, if you use Pandora (which you should) and don't have a Kings of Leon station, add it, for goodness' sake. Except, I'll warn you, it makes it really hard to want to sit in your office chair for hours at a time...
I wish I could find a Pandora station that magically inspired me to pay attention at work.
Also, my HR person is going to kill me if I don't turn in my retirement investment forms soon...and, I have buy a car, like, today. My mechanic gave me to the end of February before my trusty ol' Avalon was no longer safe to drive...dangit! The end of February is tomorrow! HOW did that happen??
In short, sometimes I really hate having to pretend I'm adult..
This post o' randomness was brought to you by: a girl distractedly looking forward to the weekend way more than she should...stupid weekdays that get in the way.. oh well :)
Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Happy Vday-plus-11
I haven't been to my myspace page in about a year, and yesterday was on there for a sec - I had totally forgotten about the song on my profile, "Shh" by Donora. It's from this pretty neat music vid by PostSecret, all re: matters of the heart - the good, the bad and the ugly. Enjoy the art!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
No more Facebook for a while.
Michelle and I often agree that if something is going to be hard and we don't want to do it, there's a good chance that means we need to do it....
So, I'll be giving up Facebook for Lent. Is it really lame that Facebook is a significant enough piece of my life that it's worth giving it up for Lent? Uh, yep. Which is exactly why I need to do it (well. one reason anyway.)
Plus, I've always had an addictive personality, so as a bonus it'd be great to be able to break that pattern down at least some (and if you've seen my out-of-control Facebook lately, you know that addiction is the word). We shall see..
Anyway, all the email notifications are going off as of midnight tonight, so if you need to contact me....hopefully you already know how to. (And nobody better leave terrible stuff on my wall! Michelle, you're in charge of that hehe.)
Also, Nicole has demanded that if I nix the Facebooking, I have to blog more....I'm sure that won't be a problem, nic :) (PS, this blog is imported to Facebook automatically, so that doesn't count!)
So, giving up: Facebook.
Adding: for starters, the Lenten devotional I slacked off on last year...
Didn't originally think I would say this, but I'm actually looking forward to it. (Looking forward to a lot of things this "Bright Sadness" season...more on that to come in the weeks ahead.)
So, I'll be giving up Facebook for Lent. Is it really lame that Facebook is a significant enough piece of my life that it's worth giving it up for Lent? Uh, yep. Which is exactly why I need to do it (well. one reason anyway.)
Plus, I've always had an addictive personality, so as a bonus it'd be great to be able to break that pattern down at least some (and if you've seen my out-of-control Facebook lately, you know that addiction is the word). We shall see..
Anyway, all the email notifications are going off as of midnight tonight, so if you need to contact me....hopefully you already know how to. (And nobody better leave terrible stuff on my wall! Michelle, you're in charge of that hehe.)
Also, Nicole has demanded that if I nix the Facebooking, I have to blog more....I'm sure that won't be a problem, nic :) (PS, this blog is imported to Facebook automatically, so that doesn't count!)
So, giving up: Facebook.
Adding: for starters, the Lenten devotional I slacked off on last year...
Didn't originally think I would say this, but I'm actually looking forward to it. (Looking forward to a lot of things this "Bright Sadness" season...more on that to come in the weeks ahead.)
Monday, February 16, 2009
i am thinking...
...that words can be given as gifts or wielded as weapons.
...everyone knows that "sticks and stones" rhyme is a load of crap, but i only just realized that the words you let come out of your mouth can affect not only others, but yourself, too. The good ones and the bad ones.
...sometimes i get inspired by words completely apart from any context. I read the phrase "spice box" today and now I want to write either a poem or a stream-of-consciousness short story called Box of Spices. {yep. see my blog's title}
...I am blown away by the fact that i just took my paperwhites out of the dark recently, and they grew about one foot in about one week; I didn't know that was possible. quite an apt metaphor for my life these days.
...if my life could be blessed with one intangible quality this year, i would want it to be: balance
...guilt is a terrible thing to waste your energy on.
...one of the reasons i hate to watch the local news is because the frenetic B-roll makes me feel like I'm going to have an epileptic seizure
...life is often what you make of it, and I think we forget that.
...The Bachelor's hook this season is so wrong and I just hope that little boy somehow makes it out unscathed. The television industry is no stranger to questionable ethics, but I still can't believe a real child was used as a pawn for ratings. (I can't say I've watched it, but seriously? People consider that good entertainment?)
...continually trying to dismantle various expectations (of "what i want," "what should be," etc.) has served me pretty well over the years, but it's probably not the best or safest advice to pass on to others.
...everyone knows that "sticks and stones" rhyme is a load of crap, but i only just realized that the words you let come out of your mouth can affect not only others, but yourself, too. The good ones and the bad ones.
...sometimes i get inspired by words completely apart from any context. I read the phrase "spice box" today and now I want to write either a poem or a stream-of-consciousness short story called Box of Spices. {yep. see my blog's title}
...I am blown away by the fact that i just took my paperwhites out of the dark recently, and they grew about one foot in about one week; I didn't know that was possible. quite an apt metaphor for my life these days.
...if my life could be blessed with one intangible quality this year, i would want it to be: balance
...guilt is a terrible thing to waste your energy on.
...one of the reasons i hate to watch the local news is because the frenetic B-roll makes me feel like I'm going to have an epileptic seizure
...life is often what you make of it, and I think we forget that.
...The Bachelor's hook this season is so wrong and I just hope that little boy somehow makes it out unscathed. The television industry is no stranger to questionable ethics, but I still can't believe a real child was used as a pawn for ratings. (I can't say I've watched it, but seriously? People consider that good entertainment?)
...continually trying to dismantle various expectations (of "what i want," "what should be," etc.) has served me pretty well over the years, but it's probably not the best or safest advice to pass on to others.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
New favorites!
What a great day for discoveries! Roomie Emily and I had a lovely morning with some friends: homemade biscotti, Peruvian hot chocolate (it comes in bar form which you shave apart with a knife, then cook with milk and sugar...super yummy), the Natalie Merchant-y Eliza Rosbach, and the movie the Gospel of John, which was surprisingly intriguing rather than cheesy (even though Jesus is played by Desmond from Lost...weird).
And this wasn't discovered today, but speaking of Peruvian hot chocolate, I think everyone needs to know about the best chocolate shop everrr: Escazu, located on Glenwood South in downtown Raleigh. (It's next door to the hookah bar Casablanca that I've halfway been wanting to try...though we all know that the only reason I'm even slightly interested is because it's basically dessert-flavored smoke. But do I really want to puff Caterpillar-style on strawberry tobacco? My friends call me the hippie among us, but I'm not sure I'm quite that far out.) Anyway, Escazu = local confectioners who use Latin American flavorings, and it's nearly impossible to choose what you want because everything looks so incredible...KT and I are going to start a tradition of treating ourselves to Escazu after we work it out Latin-style with Zumba down the street (which, by the way, is probably the most fun aerobic exercise you'll ever do...thanks to Jana for that one!)
Back to later this morning: Em had to stop by the Fresh Market, which gave me a chance to peek through this Cameron Village shop I have been itching to get to, the Pirate's Chest (formerly the Carolina Antique Mall). It's simply great, and I can't wait until I have a real house and an excuse to decorate out of that store (besides World Market and 10,000 Villages). Lots of beautiful antique pieces, plus other random quirky stuff - but all laid out as vignettes (good), not row after overwhelming row (bad). Also, I used to work at a gifts-and-interior-decor store that had similar items (though all new, not antique), and I can definitely say that there are good-to-really-good buys to be had at the Pirate's Chest. (Not just furniture/decor...if you're a jewelry fiend like me, get thee to the Pirate's Chest. Think flea market jewelry, and slightly pricier-but-nicer.)
Plus, further evidence that I need to dig into more of Leonard Cohen's work: the oft-covered "Hallelujah" composer also wrote the pretty pretty song, "Dance Me to the End of Love," that has been covered by The Civil Wars (a promising side project from Joy Williams and John Paul White). Thanks to the beautiful Shelly for leaving it on my computer last night!
And this wasn't discovered today, but speaking of Peruvian hot chocolate, I think everyone needs to know about the best chocolate shop everrr: Escazu, located on Glenwood South in downtown Raleigh. (It's next door to the hookah bar Casablanca that I've halfway been wanting to try...though we all know that the only reason I'm even slightly interested is because it's basically dessert-flavored smoke. But do I really want to puff Caterpillar-style on strawberry tobacco? My friends call me the hippie among us, but I'm not sure I'm quite that far out.) Anyway, Escazu = local confectioners who use Latin American flavorings, and it's nearly impossible to choose what you want because everything looks so incredible...KT and I are going to start a tradition of treating ourselves to Escazu after we work it out Latin-style with Zumba down the street (which, by the way, is probably the most fun aerobic exercise you'll ever do...thanks to Jana for that one!)
Back to later this morning: Em had to stop by the Fresh Market, which gave me a chance to peek through this Cameron Village shop I have been itching to get to, the Pirate's Chest (formerly the Carolina Antique Mall). It's simply great, and I can't wait until I have a real house and an excuse to decorate out of that store (besides World Market and 10,000 Villages). Lots of beautiful antique pieces, plus other random quirky stuff - but all laid out as vignettes (good), not row after overwhelming row (bad). Also, I used to work at a gifts-and-interior-decor store that had similar items (though all new, not antique), and I can definitely say that there are good-to-really-good buys to be had at the Pirate's Chest. (Not just furniture/decor...if you're a jewelry fiend like me, get thee to the Pirate's Chest. Think flea market jewelry, and slightly pricier-but-nicer.)
Plus, further evidence that I need to dig into more of Leonard Cohen's work: the oft-covered "Hallelujah" composer also wrote the pretty pretty song, "Dance Me to the End of Love," that has been covered by The Civil Wars (a promising side project from Joy Williams and John Paul White). Thanks to the beautiful Shelly for leaving it on my computer last night!
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
I am so tired of cancer...
I know that's an odd way to start a blog post, but it's true. I know so many people who have been (/are) hurt and affected by it. I'm not in a "questioning-God-frame-of-mind" at this point in my life, but if I was I'm sure that would be at the top of my list.
Two of the four funerals I went to last year were because of cancer. Most of my relatives that have passed away during my lifetime have done so as a result of cancer. And I know plenty of people who are still here with us, but struggling against this complex, monstrous disease of many forms, including my own dear sweet grandmother.
I hate it.
I'm glad to say that, though, because frankly, I've been beginning to worry lately if my compassion for these kinds of things was momentarily tapped out. I don't mean to sound macabre, but death (i.e. many deaths) has been so much a part of my life in the past two years, that recently it hasn't been affecting me the way it once did, or the way I think it should, in terms of an emotional compassionate response to those who are involved. When my mom told me my grandmother had cancer, I'm pretty sure she was a little confused by my response, because I acted like she had just told me she was headed to the grocery store.
I'm not at all saying that I think about it all the time, but I can't deny that death has been a theme in my life these past two years, and I worry how long it's going to continue, with aging relatives and all that...
And just for now I won't go into why I believe death does not need to be a journey ending in darkness for the person who experiences it directly....but for the rest of us, for those who perhaps have to watch (or maybe worse, don't have a chance to watch) and then are left behind, it can be dark sometimes. It's a very hard thing.
Sorry for the selfish downer post and I hope it doesn't make anyone feel bad...just had to get it out of my system for today so that I can get back to and focus on enjoying the full life of the living...
Two of the four funerals I went to last year were because of cancer. Most of my relatives that have passed away during my lifetime have done so as a result of cancer. And I know plenty of people who are still here with us, but struggling against this complex, monstrous disease of many forms, including my own dear sweet grandmother.
I hate it.
I'm glad to say that, though, because frankly, I've been beginning to worry lately if my compassion for these kinds of things was momentarily tapped out. I don't mean to sound macabre, but death (i.e. many deaths) has been so much a part of my life in the past two years, that recently it hasn't been affecting me the way it once did, or the way I think it should, in terms of an emotional compassionate response to those who are involved. When my mom told me my grandmother had cancer, I'm pretty sure she was a little confused by my response, because I acted like she had just told me she was headed to the grocery store.
I'm not at all saying that I think about it all the time, but I can't deny that death has been a theme in my life these past two years, and I worry how long it's going to continue, with aging relatives and all that...
And just for now I won't go into why I believe death does not need to be a journey ending in darkness for the person who experiences it directly....but for the rest of us, for those who perhaps have to watch (or maybe worse, don't have a chance to watch) and then are left behind, it can be dark sometimes. It's a very hard thing.
Sorry for the selfish downer post and I hope it doesn't make anyone feel bad...just had to get it out of my system for today so that I can get back to and focus on enjoying the full life of the living...
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