Friday, September 22, 2006

Crying like a baby.

I'm pretty sure that until last night, the last time I cried because I was tired was when I was a baby. But I was super tired last night. And I cried -- couldn't even help it. I now have a bit more sympathy for the poor little babes who won't shut up simply because they need to sleep.

Of course, I have become a terribly emotionally-driven person in the last few years; I'm sure that also had something to do with it. And every day now, mainly because of my job, I am absolutely flooded with questions and issues and concerns I've never had to face, which tires my mind and my heart unmercifully, so...That undoubtedly had something to do with it as well.

I have GOT to finish my apartment-moving process so that I can finally have clear free time at home, so I can finally write. And process. Perhaps in a slightly more formal format; we shall have to see. If a certain magazine sees fit to offer my processing on their website again, then so much the better, since everyone's who's asking about my life can then get it all in one articulate swoop. Not that I don't want to talk to you all, my dear friends, but then you'll have context and we can cut to the chase. :)




Unrelatedly (no not a word), I should just accept my love for the blog, i think -- I always intend to write about 3 sentences, and that never happens, does it?..

Sunday, September 17, 2006

TODO Cambia

So week two of my new job is upon me and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. This work belongs to such a different realm than what I have been used to my entire life, and I haven't quite figured out how to handle it all yet...

I don't mind being uncomfortable if it's in a good, "I'm being stretched" way, but the whole being somewhat apprehensive about going in to work thing, I dearly hope that passes pretty quickly. Because I have the next 10 months to be in it.

It occurs to me that pretty much NO one knows what I'm talking about right now, most likely, but suffice it to say:

I'm supposed to be fluent in Spanish
I'm supposed to overlook (?) things that contradict my beliefs
I'm supposed to not be phased by sex, homosexuality, transgenderism, terminal illness, etc.
I'm supposed to provide "pastoral counseling" without really talking about Christ unless invited
I'm supposed to be honest and open with my team on quite an intense personal level, regardless of the fact that I don't think anyone shares my faith, which essentially defines who I am

All situations that I'm not accustomed to. Not to mention the fact that this is not going to be a 9-5 job I can drop when I walk out the door, but is going to follow me pretty much everywhere. It already is.

I keep saying it, but it's all I know right now: it's gonna be an interesting year, chicos.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

i am SICK

and ANGRY

B/C I HATE BEING SICK

AND ALL i did was sit in training yesterday, in a 60 degree room, which is freezing cold, by the way, and i got a freaking cold. i got a cold just by sitting in a cold room. i didn't think that could really happen. but LET IT BE KNOWN, that OHHHH IT CAN HAPPEN. WATCHOUT.

And i am MAINLY angry b/c if i don't get better by Friday, I will have to miss my first day of work, seeing how sickness and AIDS patients are not a good combo.

and i am so tired and i want to curse so badly but i'm not supposed to damnit.