well, shoot haha

So not only am I getting my knee cut up tomorrow, but to add insult to injury (hmm..no pun intended), I just found my first gray hair. I am SHOCKED I tell you, SHOCKED!

hehe :P It's all good though...that's actually funny to me. Especially considering that only a few days ago did I tell my hairstylist that if I got my dad's genes, I wouldn't see any gray until I was in my 40's.

Thanks Mom ;)

Where's the line?

My somewhat recent (if a year is recent) foray into the world of social justice has kind of messed up my life. And I'm not talking in that euphemistic way of describing "how glad I am to have found my calling and I'll never be the same yaddayadda..." I suppose that is true, but when I think of "messed up," I really am thinking in terms of inconvenience. Discomfort. Annoyance. Irritation.

It's really incovenient that: my conscience won't allow me to shop at Victoria's Secret anymore, because the word "sweatshop" has a much more robust meaning to me these days.

It's annoying that: I feel as if I'll be more apt to be perceived as prudish these days, because my work against modern slavery has opened my eyes to how our society distorts and abuses sexuality in a way that contributes to so much harm in so, so many ways.

It's irritating that: my work in women's safety and abolitionism has replaced my inoculation to violence with an aversion to it, to the extent that my television and cinema entertainment choices have become more limited.

It sucks that: my most recent attendance at a show of a certain favorite 80's party band was probably my last, because for the first time I found myself unable to brush off or excuse their explicit raunchiness-as-performance-shtick.

...and I could go on. But not indefinitely, because I haven't yet become willing to be a martyr for the idea of social justice itself...

I've been wrestling with a concept that is at the foundation of my abolition group Jubilee - "standing for justice, rejoicing in freedom" - freedom in both the physical sense and all the metaphysical senses. One Jubilee woman once shared about a friend who was completely obsessed with only eating slow (local) foods, buying only free-trade items, taking great care to never accidentally support anything that directly or indirectly harmed anyone or anything...and if you consider what it would take to live that way, that is not freedom...that is being chained down by an idea.

But of course it's not a bad idea, right? I mean, you're being a responsible, caring, "good person." But I just think that something is lost when you make your life almost impossible to live for the sake of never having anything to do with something even remotely tainted.

But do I think it's okay to let some things slide? Well, I can't say that I do. But I do let things slide; I choose to not research every little thing I buy/do/eat/etc. because I don't want to go crazy.

...But part of me really wishes I had the fortitude and discipline to be like that stringently conscious woman.

...But part of me doesn't want to hear about another favorite company that uses sweatshops or another entertaining t.v. show that has faulty sexual morals, because I don't want to feel compelled to sacrifice yet one more thing...nor do I think a life burdened by solid sacrifices is any way to live, particularly if I claim to have freedom in Christ.

...But then I'm struck with how unfair it is that I have the choice to either sacrifice enjoyment/convenience or to let things slide, whereas so many others in the world do not.

But, but, but.........clearly I have not resolved this issue in my mind. I wonder if I ever will?..

it's time

"it's times like these you learn to live again
it's times like these you give and give again
it's times like these you learn to love again"




[love it]

twitter THIS. what.

So I've seen twitterings all over the place lately, and I finally felt like I had to know what it is. I've intentionally avoided it up til now, because: as a "communications professional," I am forever being inundated with webinars, newsletters, emails, etc etc etcetcetectetdcet about Social Freakin' Media. I promise, it is the buzzword in the communications sector...and I am sick of it! Now, I like my Facebook to keep up with people, but beyond that I just don't like the idea of using the faceless (no pun intended) internet for what I consider to be essentially faux-relationship building. And at the risk of sounding hypocritical, this blog is mainly for catharsis and practice...I'm not exactly trying to find life-long friends here.

I tried to explain this to my father the other day (specifically, telling him I found LinkedIn to be useless to me), at which he point he proceeded to lecture me on how, if I want to advance myself professionally, I really need to learn how to use it (and he would be happy to teach me).

AHHH!

* * *

In other news - this season is the first time I've watched AI in about...mmm, probably four or five years, and I have to say, Jason Castro wins me over just about every time. No hay más remedio.

But until last night, I have never before actually been sad about an American Idol contestant getting the boot. I'm sorry, Michael Johns. And I can't believe I ever used to like Ryan "I'm going to make you think we'll give you a break like at last year's Idol Gives Back, and then crush this falsely-raised hope beneath my Gucci shoe" Seacrest...what a jerk. That's too sensationalist, even for Idol.

Target is creepy

I don't often have occasion to go to Target...partly because I feel this need to not allow myself to get attached to it...like there's something slightly weird about it.

Even before you go into the store (like I had to do today), you see these commercials practically designed to hypnotize you. And then once you get inside the store and make a purchase...I feel like somehow, likely in a very cute way, you are supporting The Man.

Seriously, every time I go into a Target it reminds me of that "Josie & the Pussycats" movie because of the subliminal messages. hah.