oh, you Christian hipsters, you.

My friend and fellow abolitionist Mike was laughing that we are now a Mother Jones cliche...the magazine did an article on Hellraisers: The Next Generation, complete with with an artistic rendition of all the "types" of modern rabble-rousers.

#2 = "The Christian Hipster. Causes du jour: ending sex slavery, starting Bible study in a bar."

Love it :P

love, please

My Chelle just got back from a trip to Seattle and brought with her some awesome pics (Seattle seriously looks awesome and now I want to go, too).

I just love this one and had to post it.

Miracle Child

I can't not post this story about a little girl from my old home church. This church has experienced the unusual situation of having three lovely ladies struggling with brain tumors (and it's not a large church, either). One, from what I know, is still going back and forth in her battle. The second, our pastor's wife, went home to be with the Lord earlier this year (that may raise questions for some folks, so I will just point you to my pastor's blog and let him explain things).

The third and youngest is experiencing a miraculous recovery. Praise God! --

"Last week Cali had her much anticipated 3 month MRI visit combined with her post-transplant assessment. We are extremely happy to report that the MRI was clean and that her heart and lungs are perfectly fine!! Praise the Good Lord!! The day was a very long one for all three of our little angels but they came through it beautifully. The nurses just loved on little Cali and she was putting on quite a show for everyone. She was giving kisses and hugs to just about everybody which just lit the room up with smiles. Cali was also counting to 10, repeating every word possible, and even showed the doc. that she could stand up straight with no help at all. Doc. was very pleased with how well Cali is progressing, so pleased infact that he chose to reveal a heart touching bit of information about the night Cali first arrived at Duke with her tumor. He told the medical student side-kick that was making rounds with him that Cali was truly a "miracle child," because her condition was so bad on the night that she arrived that one of the doctors in the room pretty much gave up on Cali and left the room in heartache. That makes me cry just thinking about that statement. Looking at her now, and thinking about that night makes me fall on my knees and give thanks to God that he put his healing hand upon her. Cali is doing so very well and we want to thank everyone for keeping her in your prayers. God Bless and live each day expecting that there will be no tomorrow."

"Good sex" is definitely a matter of opinion.

I know that sex is taboo in some "proper" [aka conservative] circles, but I think that's a problem. Don't believe me? People--parents and mentors, especially--should be talking about this (regardless of whether they have a problem talking about sex, or don't, or just don't even care).

Not to mention the fact that it's absolutely shocking that anyone over the age of 18 could possibly be a virgin. I mean, really, doctors can't believe it (mine doesn't), so why should anyone else, right? ...I really don't get it.

Except, I do. That's the culture we live in. In-your-face sexuality is such a latent part of our society that many people 1) can't comprehend something that diverges from that, and 2) aren't even seeing it for what it is, most of the time (again, just read this).

Yes, I get bitter about our culture sometimes...my bad.

[musical milestone] *AHHHH!!*

So I have wanted to be able to accompany myself on guitar for YEARS, instead of depending on other people all the time...

I FINALLY DID IT!!!!!

I have learned one of my favorite songs -- Patty Griffin's "Making Pies" -- and I can play it, and sing it, at the same time...and without feeling very embarrassed.

This is an incredibly simple thing to some people, I know...but I can't believe it's actually finally happened. All these recent (work)nights of staying up til 1:30 in the morning because that's the only time I have to practice are finally paying off.

one day. watch out, world ;P

By His Power

Note: This post is best read while listening to Sufjan Steven's "Concerning the UFO Sighting Near Highland, IL" ;-)

From time to time--sometimes for intellectual reasons, sometimes for hardship reasons, sometimes for no reason at all--a piece of me wants to question the whole God bit. I dance around it, really, not actually wanting to disbelieve that to which I've clung for most of my life. But in spite of my continuing determination to cling to faith “in things unseen,” I can't help but want proof, sometimes.

It's always been like that. And the proof I've always found--irrefutable proof, to me--is what I've seen in people's lives. Uncanny hope, victory against the odds, miraculous changes...and, every so often, I am blessed to find this proof in my own life.

For the past three and a half months, I've been struggling to recover from a reconstructive surgery for a ruptured ACL. Ironically, the struggle hasn't been physical, as I've been flying through my rehab (much to my physical therapist's constant surprise). The struggle has actually been related to some insurance mishaps--a situation that has left me trying to figure out how I'd pay for the $15,000+ of remaining medical bills, should it come to that.

It has been such a weight. At the time of my surgery, I was basically an intern, and definitely living on an intern's salary. So for the past three and a half months, I've been wavering between trying to stave off despair--what would I do if these bills came my way??--and trying to trust what I'd heard and believed so many times, that God is in control. I've been trying to live my life normally, but for three and a half months there has been this vast concern, just lurking in the background. I've prayed, usually more helplessly than cheerfully.

This morning, for whatever reason, it occurred to me that my insurance companies would be switching next week, due to a new job. And just as suddenly, it occurred to me that I had to finish my insurance appeal paperwork--today, if I wanted to get it in by the deadline. I dashed to my computer and worked on it most of the rest of the day, still trying not to ask, what happens if this doesn't work? What if it doesn't get there on time?

Several hours later, as I drove home, I couldn't help but dwell on what a heavy burden I felt. In spite of myself, my mind kept wandering to one idea--"why?" I know life isn't always fair, but it just didn't seem right. I had sustained the knee injury while training to become a better self defense instructor, a passion God had dumped in my lap about a year ago. And a big reason I had managed not to finish my insurance appeal earlier was because I had been investing countless hours to help organize some anti-human-trafficking efforts in my area.

I didn't blame God for such an unfair return on my hard work--that's life, sometimes. But it still sucked. It was still wearing and weighing me down.

As I pulled into my driveway, depressed, I again tried consoling myself with the idea that God is in control, and that He is going to take care of me, whatever that ends up meaning. This thought inspired a slight shimmer of peace, at least enough to soften the frown I had been wearing the whole drive home.

Coming inside, on the coffee table I saw two envelopes my roommate had left for me from the mail. One was pink, with a handwritten address but no return address; the other was from the hospital. Another bill. Always one to take the bad news first, I anxiously opened the bill.

But it wasn't a bill. It was a notice informing me that the hospital had reviewed my application for financial hardship, and had decided to dismiss 80% of the charges I had incurred.

Stunned with disbelief, I turned to the pink mystery envelop, and pulled from it a single sheet of paper. In large, colorful letters, were written the words, "It's all for Him," along with a single Bible verse: "For everything comes from God alone. Everything lives by his power and everything is for his glory" (Romans 11:36).

...Except I could barely read through the verse, given that by this time, of course, my eyes were completely flooded. (I later found out it had been sent by a friend, who simply had felt led to mail the verse to me.)

Overwhelmed, shocked, grateful and awed beyond words, I paced my house, humming a beautiful Sufjan Stevens melody that had been in my head all day. Realizing I didn't actually know any of the words, I went to look them up. Sucker for symbolism that I am, I was halfway daring the lyrics to fit the moment, so I wasn't even that surprised at what I read:

When the revenant came down
We couldn't imagine what it was
In the spirit of three stars
The alien thing that took its form
Then to Lebanon, oh God
The flashing at night, the sirens grow and grow
Oh, history involved itself
Mysterious shade that took its form
Or what it was, incarnation, three stars
Delivering signs and dusting from their eyes

So once again, I've found myself with the proof that my mind, and even my heart, sometimes crave - proof that God loves, that God cares, that God is. And I am so humbled.

Teens stripping online for charity....way to go, Virgin Mobile

Seriously?

Virgin has since changed its campaign (somewhat), after receiving massive criticism during a test run. But they obviously still don't get it...as if scribbling out the word "strip" (so that you can still read it) and saying "unzip me" is going to discourage any such videos á la the campaign's original intent.

As both a marketer and a nonprofit worker, I'm gonna say something I've thought for a long time: I think that sometimes, cause marketing is just shit.

And Virgin definitely crossed the line on this one.

CRAZY Japanese water art

how funny

So I'm distantly related to this guy through the Rand name, which apparently means that I have some (very distant) black cousins in Atlanta. Whoulda thunk it :)

Call + Response: The Film

"Never forget - justice is what love looks like in public!" -Dr. Cornel West

(*Give it a minute to load; it's worth it!)

Attn: wannabe Raleigh street performers

(putting in a plug for me dear ol' dad, the VP of SP..)

Streetlight Productions exists to help you improve your art of street performance. They do cool stuff for Raleigh's street performers (and those who want to become one), like offering deeply discounted street performance permits and workshops geared toward mastering the street art scene...

Just stick to the music, Bono!

...is what some people are saying (and have been saying).


I just don't know. Yes, part of me thinks it's a bit dodgy that he legally moved (or the band did? I can't remember which) so that his U2 money wouldn't have to go to Irish taxes. But then again, isn't he using that untaxed money for good? (Or as Shane Claiborne might ask, if he's using the money to further the kingdom of God rather than furthering the government's agenda, what's the problem? Though I'm not saying that's what he's doing.)

I know a lot of people, my father included, think some of Bono's philanthropic efforts are misguided. He does indeed have the power to influence a lot of people, and that influence shouldn't be taken lightly.

But really...he could be using his fame and fortune to glamorize a crappily hedonistic celebrity lifestyle, couldn't he?

That's all I'm saying.

(PS - somewhat unrelatedly, how's this for irony)

Mysterium fidei

...mystery of faith...




I just got back from the Jesus for President tour stop in Raleigh, and am fascinated. What an evening of beautiful storytelling, heartwrenching music and discomforting challenges.

There were heavy southern (American) accents, old timey bluegrass, and Middle Eastern wails. Letters from soldiers, and scorn of America as the world's god. There was love overflowing, and messages that would make my patriotic father furious, most likely.

Surprisingly, Shane Claiborne and friends touched on many struggles I've been dealing with for several years related to politics, patriotism, the role of the Church, and what the gospel of Christ really means for the world, and the United States of America, today.

Lots to think about.

breaking the musicfast!

More than a year ago (several?) I basically stopped buying music. For real. For the same reason that I try not to buy chocolate, or buy ice cream, or start watching a new series I've never watched online (where all the episodes are available at once): once I start, I very nearly can't stop. Pandora.com is probably the only thing that allowed me to do this; otherwise I would have died inside from lack of new music. But I think it's time for the fast to end, and I can't wait to start splurging on...

• Beyoncé! Somehow I own nothing of her music...I think she is one of the most talented pop (in the broad sense) music-makers out there today. girl power music at its best - love it.
• Over the Rhine. newly introduced to them and she's basically who I want to be.
• Emilliana Torrini. beautiful voice, entrancing music.
• Eisley's newest album...i'm still steaming from having gotten the time wrong for a recent show, and walking in right after they finished.
• The Album Leaf. chill and pretty.
• Sufjan Stevens. been listening to him for years...to the same 4 songs. dumb. no more.
• Patty Griffin...everything I don't already have :)
• Bjork
  
• Chris Thile
  
• Nickel Creek - everything! i only had one album, and I've lost even that one. not owning NC is like an insult to music.
• Rocky Votolato
  
• Mason Jennings. his music makes me feel so happy, haha
• The Frames. going backward from having listened to The Swell Season first, the Frames are just as great.
• Coldplay's newest. I feel silly even admitting that one.
• Ray LaMontagne...everything i don't already have.
• Rich Price.
• Damien Rice! how do i only have 2 songs?? ridiculous.
• ...and more Ray Charles, Supremes, Marvin Gaye, Doris Day, Rosemary Clooney, Rachmaninoff, Brahms, Tchaikovsky, Turina, Mozart, Beethoven, Elgar..

And that's pretty much scratching the surface. mmmmm i can almost taste the forthcoming musical goodness now :)

Love & Loss

A dear friend of mine is working through his fourth month since his wife of many years passed away from cancer. By no means is he dealing with any kind of hopeless despair (his blog can show you why) but experiencing his grief and loss is certainly the most prominent feature of his life at this time.

At one point he said something I've heard many times before: "better to have loved and lost than not loved at all."

That's something I've never really believed, at least not for my nature and personality. But, oddly enough, I've been having to concede that perhaps that is the only kind of loss of love I would accept if it meant having the kind of love that my friend and his wife so clearly shared when she was alive. I say odd, because I truly cannot imagine a more painful kind of loss - and that loss is only so great because the love was so great - and yet the greatness of the love makes the prospect of such pain worthwhile, or at least bearable.

But I have witnessed other kinds of love lost that I want nothing to do with; and there is where I don't believe it's "better to have loved and lost." There are some things, in my mind, that don't make the loss worthwhile.

Again, that's for myself, anyway. My concession there, though, has to be that maybe I can only say that because I've never been in love and so don't know what I'm missing. But still...from where I stand, it isn't always worth it.

Probably something people would say I need to figure out how to deal with, but oh well. :P

Here, have a time slot.

I have often had a hard time believing that it is both necessary and good that my life must be orchestrated around what can fit into specified blocks of time...30 minutes on this afternoon here, 2 hours on that evening there...

But, if I am to:

build relationships with the people around me like I want to,

be involved with social justice like I want to be,

earn a living wage like I have to,

and spend time just reading/writing/musicking/resting/vegging/exercising etc. like I need to,

(and do everything else that crops up in life that must be done)

...then I believe that partitioning my life into time slots is the only way to get to do it all.

I do believe that the American life is different from much of the world in its speed, and think that there are certainly some Americans who could do with a little less speed. If you're flying through a life based around your career (or anything else) at a breakneck speed and it is draining you, then you need to slow down.

But while I can still do all this and be energized rather than drained, then I will continue to do it. Especially because I think one day this will change (read: when I have a family) -- while I'm not accountable to anyone else (I mean, not to the level that you are when you have your own family), I want to be as completely involved in this stuff as I can be.

Yeah, spontaneity is kind of sacrificed when that is the kind of life you lead, in a way. Although...it makes me laugh that I intentionally try to schedule space into my week and month that has nothing actually scheduled in it, so that I can have time to either just relax/recoup or do something spontaneously fun...does scheduling opportunities for spontaneity mean it's no longer spontaneous??? ahhhhh :) haha.

And I have decided that sometime in the next year, I am going to try to realize a long-time goal of mine and seek a weekend (or more) of individual retreat at a monastic guest house. Preferably a really old one :)

It's all about the balance.

So, for this stage of my life, time slots it is, then.

Should I stay, or should I go?

...except, now that I think about it, that's not really an apt title for this post. Because my question isn't so much about "should I, or shouldn't I?"...

I've had a few recent conversations about how much I am loving getting ingrained into the fabric of my community (Raleigh...never thought I'd say that), but how I never like to make "life" plans more than 6 months out, because...I don't want it to be hard to pull up roots. Partly because there's a piece of me that longs to be a part of a world outside of the United States of America.

But the truth is, it would be hard for me to pull up roots; there's no getting around it. A friend I just had a beach weekend with was talking about how she's feeling pulled to something international, possibly, and all I can think is, "you just moved to North Carolina and are looking for your second job here - how can you even be thinking about leaving already?"

Oh, Melinda :)

A joke from this past weekend is about how "slow" I am - with getting ready, with getting places, with making decisions, with everything. 'Tis true, I own that one. Part of the problem is probably that I don't have a problem with that particular characteristic of mine, hehe. Anyway, maybe that just means that I do things in life slowly, and that this is okay - maybe I will slowly become a part of this community of Raleigh, NC, and one day will perhaps slowly grow into a totally new life somewhere else.

So really, it's not a matter of should I or shouldn't I (not yet, anyway) - just a matter of taking care to fulfill God's mission for me right here, right now. And hopefully He'll make it obvious when the "here" needs to change.

Arrrr!

My pirate name is:

Mad Jenny Flint

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

(I think this is what happens when you're trying to do work at 11:30 at night..)

Come celebrate the 4th of July with the homeless!

The following is taken from the LoveWinsAlways blog.

---------------------------------

A lot of people have wanted to know some practical ways they could help in our mission of loving the poor, homeless and destitute of Raleigh, North Carolina. Here is your chance.

At 4pm on the Fourth of July, 2008 we are going to have a cookout in Moore Square (click here for a map) in downtown, Raleigh. There will be hot dogs, baked beans, watermelon, soft drinks and much more (we hope, anyway). If somebody could bring some guitars and such, that would be pretty cool too.

Why are we doing this, you ask? Several reasons:

• Because while no doubt you have friends and loved ones to spend the Fourth with, many of the homeless and poor do not. Bring your friends and loved ones with you.

• Because on holidays the soup kitchens are closed, so any free meals usually consist of bag lunches with peanut butter and honey sandwiches. Surely we can do better than that?

• Because when the poor go hungry, it ticks Jesus off.

• Because you need more friends who have less than you do.

• Because you will get to eat with some really cool people.

• Because things like friendship, community, dignity and happiness are important in the Kingdom of God.

• Because while everyone else is celebrating their allegiance to the American Empire (the same Empire that often says your worth is related to your net worth), we can show our ultimate allegiance to the Kingdom of God, which says these people are priceless and worth fighting for.

NOTE: The purpose of this event is not to win souls, to pass out tracts or to break out with the street preaching. Instead, we want to have fun, to meet new people and to show the love of God in the way of Jesus.

If this sounds like something you would like to be a part of, we need lots of food and help to pull this off. Leave a comment below or send me an email and I will send you a list of things we need.

i don't understand bored.

Really, I don't. I don't at all know how to relate to people who don't know what to do with their time and thus sometimes must wallow in that annoyance called boredom...seriously, I would be happy to take some of their disposable time off their hands (and I'm not talking about for purposes of getting the house clean or finally doing all the laundry).

Because I have come to the unsatisfactory but realistic conclusion that I will never be able to do everything I want at a given point in my life, because there are simply way too many things I want to do.

Right now, I'm:

• learning about cultural competence as it relates to the response to human trafficking
• developing a network of local faith communities to respond to local human trafficking
• painting a little bit
• going to a weekly homegroup for my church
• starting a journey group-discipleship thing with a couple other girls
• trying to learn how to be a booking agent for a music artist
• planning wall murals for a children's clinic
• teaching women's self-defense (on hiatus for a few more months until the ol' knee heals up!)
• working out sort of regularly (is that an oxymoron?)
  

But I ALSO want to:

• start writing articles again
• paint a lot more
• start a mixed media project
• get involved in community theater
• start/front a jazz band
• somehow find myself singing for a not-jazz band (even after years, I've never really figured out what that means...some kind of cross between Over the Rhine and Regina Spektor and Natasha Bedingfield and Fiona Apple and Patty Griffin and Schuyler Fisk)
• hike/bike the state parks and greenways
• really learn how to salsa
• work out very regularly
  
• start ballet again
• learn how to use my loop station and compose avant cello songs
  
• learn how to play guitar, at least enough to legitimately do open mic nights
• do Jubilee-type work full time
• learn to become a decent photographer
  

The frustrating thing is none of these things are out of the realm of doability in and of themselves - they're not those lofty dream-goals I had/I still have like "live in Spain" or "open a chocolate shop." The only solution I can wrap my brain around is that maybe I'll eventually get things out of my system so I can start spending pieces of my life on the next thing.

I can't help but think, though, that there are very few things on either of those lists I'll actually want to quit. I mean, the three things I was doing and am not doing now (writing articles, taking ballet and teaching self-defense) I want to go back to! How am I ever going to get to all the new things I want to do?

Basically, the likely reality is that there will be things in life that I really want to do, but they'll just have to get the shaft, because there is only so much of me to go around, and I'll have to get over it.

This post probably sounds like I'm trying to impress people because I'm "so very interesting, look at all the things I want to do!" but seriously, I'm just trying to work through said "get over it" process. Blah.