i don't understand bored.

Really, I don't. I don't at all know how to relate to people who don't know what to do with their time and thus sometimes must wallow in that annoyance called boredom...seriously, I would be happy to take some of their disposable time off their hands (and I'm not talking about for purposes of getting the house clean or finally doing all the laundry).

Because I have come to the unsatisfactory but realistic conclusion that I will never be able to do everything I want at a given point in my life, because there are simply way too many things I want to do.

Right now, I'm:

• learning about cultural competence as it relates to the response to human trafficking
• developing a network of local faith communities to respond to local human trafficking
• painting a little bit
• going to a weekly homegroup for my church
• starting a journey group-discipleship thing with a couple other girls
• trying to learn how to be a booking agent for a music artist
• planning wall murals for a children's clinic
• teaching women's self-defense (on hiatus for a few more months until the ol' knee heals up!)
• working out sort of regularly (is that an oxymoron?)
  

But I ALSO want to:

• start writing articles again
• paint a lot more
• start a mixed media project
• get involved in community theater
• start/front a jazz band
• somehow find myself singing for a not-jazz band (even after years, I've never really figured out what that means...some kind of cross between Over the Rhine and Regina Spektor and Natasha Bedingfield and Fiona Apple and Patty Griffin and Schuyler Fisk)
• hike/bike the state parks and greenways
• really learn how to salsa
• work out very regularly
  
• start ballet again
• learn how to use my loop station and compose avant cello songs
  
• learn how to play guitar, at least enough to legitimately do open mic nights
• do Jubilee-type work full time
• learn to become a decent photographer
  

The frustrating thing is none of these things are out of the realm of doability in and of themselves - they're not those lofty dream-goals I had/I still have like "live in Spain" or "open a chocolate shop." The only solution I can wrap my brain around is that maybe I'll eventually get things out of my system so I can start spending pieces of my life on the next thing.

I can't help but think, though, that there are very few things on either of those lists I'll actually want to quit. I mean, the three things I was doing and am not doing now (writing articles, taking ballet and teaching self-defense) I want to go back to! How am I ever going to get to all the new things I want to do?

Basically, the likely reality is that there will be things in life that I really want to do, but they'll just have to get the shaft, because there is only so much of me to go around, and I'll have to get over it.

This post probably sounds like I'm trying to impress people because I'm "so very interesting, look at all the things I want to do!" but seriously, I'm just trying to work through said "get over it" process. Blah.