Dear Diary

This morning I scalded my hand with boiling water from the tea kettle, and my hand is definitely swollen. I am amazed that I still manage to do things like this. Not doing very well with that NY's resolution.

I need to pray about *life* so much more than I do. Strange how it's much easier for me to sing to God than to talk to him. i'm not down with that.

As usual, people all around me are falling in love and getting engaged and married and it's somewhat distressing, because I am so incredibly not privy to any of that, and never have been in 23 years. Never even close, really, and I'll admit it; that bothers me. Kind of a lot, actually. The other thing that bothers me is how much "all that" can consume a person (me). I'm very glad I'm not the only one who gets frustrated in dealing with said consumption and misplaced focus (roommatechelle, thank you). Sometimes I'm afraid all the advice in the world isn't going to make me feel/do better.

Resolution review: #21, check. Only 41 more to go.

Topic of Tuesday's Bible study: discerning between your want and God's will. Thanks, Donnie, for bringing it up and then not giving us an answer I understand. We are still stuck. Should I move because I want to get away from what I perceive to be a static, hanging-in-the-balance life? Or because there's somewhere else that God wants me? Etc, etc.

The catch for that particular question is, of course, the fact that the newness and hubbub of a move will only be a temporary solution. What I want, what I'm looking for isn't going to be found in a new house, and probably not even a new city, and I know it.

Shoot.

Damien Rice, Damien Jurado, Gus Black, Joshua Radin, Ray LaMontagne, The Swell Sound, Patty Griffin........I need to stop listening to people like them! They are so heartwrenchingly poignant and beautiful that I can't help but to stick to them like glue, but sometimes they can be so damn pensive that they're probably no good for anyone with introspective tendencies. It's like a drug addiction you know you should shake, but don't really want to.....


Time to move on; it's Friday, and there's another long weekend ahead..