doors, questions, love....welcome to a little reverse stream-of-consciousness

I once told a friend that, at least for me, growing in Christ and understanding the mystery of God is a lot like opening a door, only to find that it leads to about seven more doors, each of which leads to about a dozen more doors.... you get the picture. "Understanding," as we humans tend to think of it, cannot ever be fully, truly achieved with regards to God, His Son, and the Holy Spirit, at least not here. I can never even hope to comprehend the complexity that IS God.

And this is an enormous comfort to me. If I could definitively reach an explanation, if I could somehow completely and "correctly" encapsulate in word or thought every aspect of all things heavenly, I would suddenly have been able to reduce God to...me, for all intents and purposes. If I could fully explain and rationalize God, what would then be left of his greatness, that which inspires awe and fear and adoration in the hearts of his people? And so I gladly revel in the fact that my life of faith will always be a continual search for more, to know God more deeply and purely.

Okay, so i really said all of that to preface this: as a result of the above, I naturally find myself with a lot more questions than answers. I don't doubt that some questions could be answered, or at least better informed, through more study and more teaching. But, there are other questions of infinite proportions that I believe simply cannot and will not be answered on Earth. And in the past (and still sometimes every now and then), this has been something that has stopped me in my tracks when I want to be able to explain how I can possibly believe what I do to someone who disagrees (and i'm not talking about small points of doctrine or anthing like that--I'm talking about why I put my faith and trust in Christ).

And that's why I think it's absolutely beautiful and amazing to see how God can orchestrate different things in our lives ("things" meaning absolutely anything: a Bible verse shared, a conversation, a sermon, a reunion with someone, an answered prayer, a movie that strikes you, a book that speaks to you, witnessing an event, a long-awaited reconciliation or healing, etc.) that, for those looking for "proof," MORE than compensate for any questiones we may have.

I guess I'm kind of going backwards in this post and retracing my steps of thought....what spawned all of the above ramblings is that today, God yet again reminded me of His nearness and greatness, and His unconditional, personal, relentless love for me...this particular time, through Brad's sermon. It wasn't so much the content and the ideas presented themselves, as it was more of a God-sent confirmation of something that had recently been on my mind. It was so simple, really....and yet I was overwhelmed, as if God had just plopped down in the chair next to me, drew me into a tight hug, and said cheerily, "Hey, I'm still right here!....where I've always been, and always will be!" And the thing that floors me is that this happens SO much....and not even just in times of need, or doubt, or pain, but also in happiness and peace. It's like He doesn't make Himself known to me simply to reassure me---He does it because it's just a part of His nature, because He desires intimacy with me, because He loves me with a love that is beyond understanding. That's pretty much mindblowing, if you ask me (aaand there goes another door).

I think THAT is what I want people to know....forget doctrine, forget the newest theory or archaelogical discovery; I think you have to talk to people, you have to get to know them, you have to look inside their lives to really see.


so that post went all over the place....but i would very much appreciate outside thoughts.

(that was a blatant petition for comments, people, which i don't do often, so you should humor me...)