beauty in the Truth

Michelle wrote a post yesterday that encapsulates a lot of my own thoughts regarding the events of late, but I'll continue to add a few more here..

Mich and I sat up late last night talking out all of this, just trying to process everything. It is so hard to believe still...I hadn't even really understood until last night that, basically, a miracle will literally have to happen if Linda is to live more than a few months. I don't know why "inoperable brain tumor" hadn't made me realize this before, but for some reason, the past few days I've just kind of had my eyes closed to the gravity of the situation. I even let myself sleep through church Sunday because I didn't really want to hear them talk about it, I guess.

You get used to hearing prayer requests coming from somewhere far off...but it's unreal when something like this comes from one of your own.

The last time I saw Linda was two weeks ago last night, at Bible study. Then she and Brad were out the last week, because Brad was sick...last night, they were gone because she is sick in a very different way, and according to doctors, chances are such that she'll never be back. I can't even grasp that, not quite. Getting there, but not yet.

Brad sent out a long email to the church this morning, and I couldn't even get through it all the first time I tried to read it (not because it was sad, but because Brad mainly wrote to thank the church and to encourage us! Us! And because he was pointed in communicating that regardless of what he wants, and what we all want, he and his family are so graciously yielding, ultimately, to whatever it is that God intends.)

I cried the entire 45 minutes it took me to drive to work this morning...I really don't know why. Michelle and I are both overwhelmed with everything, including how profoundly/how personally we are affected by this, because while we know Brad and Linda better than a lot of people, maybe, we also don't know them as well as lot of other people. I think a lot of what's overwhelming to us is the strange mix of feelings -- sad, naturally, hopeful/at least trying to be, amazed that Brad continues to minister to his flock about this while it's his wife who's sick, grateful and touched that our church has rallied together and around the Talleys as the bride of Christ ought to, blessed to be a part of that. I think that's why we feel it so strongly, too--mich & I were talking about how amazing it is to really feel like we are ingrained into the fabric of this church family. And with Linda being woven into that fabric so deeply, I guess it only makes sense.

We gathered for prayer over at the church building tonight, and while God knows composure is a hard thing to maintain under those circumstances (at least for me), there was something incredibly and richly beautiful about the experience...I can't stop thinking about how, in a situation that is supposed to be very wrong, there are so many things that just seem right..