timing

People talk a lot about God's timing. Sometimes I wonder if we attribute too much to it -- confusion, disappointment, lacking, [insert another negatively connotated noun here]. Maybe some things just happen (obviously, not outside the realm of God's knowledge and control, but I'm just saying it's possible we look too much into things sometimes?...) Maybe we also ought to be attributing good things to God's timing. And by good, I don't mean actually negative stuff that we mask as good in the God-light just so we feel better.

But that's probably one of those heart-changes that requires God's help. Which we probably have to remember to ask for.

Anyway, at the risk of sounding like I'm doing said masking, this was all prompted by my recent thoughts of what my life is doing. Eh, that sounded passive, didn't it--okay, what I'm doing with my life. Up until early this year I've had my fingers into all kinds of various and random activities that made my life more complicated, more full and more fun. Now, I feel like I'm in a season of evaporation. My desire to write, whether articles, in my journal or on my blog, has trickled to a near-nothing [edit: after further thought, I realized that's not true...the mental scribblings are still scrawling about just as much as ever; it's just that these days I feel so distractingly guilty if I ever indulge them into life that I can hardly focus once I begin]; all my musical projects have essentially faded into nonexistence; my friends are harder to get ahold of and hang out with; even my involvement with the church has declined, more via circumstances there than by my own explicit choice.

I don't mean to lump all of those things together and label them as "good" or "bad"; from where I stand, until I understand more, they simply "are." And all of it comes at a time when working on what happens to me in the next few months is very important. Essentially, where will I be working and where will I live? (What will I do; where will I go? to be more esoteric...) Nearly everything else in life seems to have taken a backseat, whether by my own choice or not (mainly not). So, I am curious, and I am embracing this season.

One thing I am doing more...reading. It is nice. It occurs to me that everything I've been doing has been output, and this one source of input has been neglected for quite a while. It is nice.

Currently reading:
Finding Manana: Memoirs of a Cuban Exodus
The Backward Life
Under the Overpass: A Journey of Faith Through the Streets of America
Between the Dreaming and the Coming True