a spattering of thoughts

I'm only one week into my doctor-ordered inactivity, and I'm already going stir crazy with boredom...ah me. Three to four days a week of Muay Thai, self-defense and ballet training once upon a time, and now I sit and watch tv and movies all evening. I would write, but my computer is broken, and I would read, but all my books are kind of depressing for some reason. I've definitely got to come up with another plan, because I can almost feel my life wasting away as it gets sucked into that tube of so-called entertainment. There are precious few moments of real, worthwhile entertainment to be had from a television set.

Though, there's something to be said for a season of silence and reflection, but that's a hard, uncomfortable place to go, most times. Which is probably why I should go there. shoot. I'll have to think about that one..

The job isn't so hot right now. I like what I do in and of itself, but lately my position has morphed into something that could only be reasonably handled by two people (which is why I shouldn't be blogging right now). Since I am only one, I'm pretty overwhelmed and frustrated (which is why I am blogging right now). Last night my dad told me that "something is wrong with my job description" if I am ever at a point where I am able to fulfill 100% of my responsibilities. That seems like a jacked-up way of looking at it, but okay. I know this is the "real world," but I still find it strange that people would prefer you to do a bunch of stuff at a mediocre level rather than do fewer things at an excellent level. But that's just me.

Also, I've learned lately (both at and outside of work) that I don't deal with negative people well. As much as I try to shore up myself against the world, I'm still a sensitive person as they say, and have to make a conscious effort not to absorb negativity that is around me. A coworker was, as usual, venting in my office the other day and I told her I couldn't take it anymore and to get out. She thought I was just being funny...I let her think that, but, yeah, I wasn't. hah. I mean, venting is necessary for most of us...but not constantly. yech. I'm thankful most of the people in my life tend more toward the positive....(though I feel compelled to say to my wonderful roommate Emily, I'm sorry you have to bear the brunt of my complaining and whining; I guess I just have to get it out of my system sometimes :P)

One thing Emily and I have complained about regretted together is the lack of community that settles into your life after the undergraduate years. For most of us, college means living 24/7 with constant access to your friends, in some form or fashion...and then suddenly jobs, relocations, marriages and even just laziness get in the way, and before you know it, what was once a simple showing up at your friend's apartment to hang out is now a complex production full of timing issues, rescheduling and cancellations.

I'm surviving just fine without everything else that was great about college...but I do miss the community, I miss the ready fellowship. I'm trying, but it's a difficult thing to recreate.

Annnnd now it's definitely time for me to get back to work! hehe.

When the couch potato dives headfirst into a contact sport...

...there are bound to be some laughs.

Especially when that's all you can do, because you still can't believe it.

As in these days, I laugh all the time (in disbelief/irony/fun/bewilderment) at the fact that I, previously the total non-athlete, have been training in Muay Thai for the past few months, and am loving it.

Prior to that, my physical activity mainly consisted of going to the gym about ten times a year (maybe). I mean, I "played" soccer when I was very little...I did gymnastics (and Jazzercise! yeah!), and tried out for track and volleyball in middle and high school. (Can't really say why, since I hate to run and am no good with a ball...)

And that would be it. Well, that's not totally true - I like walking park trails, I like to play catch with my dad, and my roommate and I are re-learning how to ride our bikes after a decade of un-use...

Hah.

So yeah, every once in a while, I think of how odd it is to find boxing gloves on my hands a few nights a week, and to constantly discover inexplicable bruises and scrapes all over my body.

And being only recently initiated to the active world of which sports-related injuries are a natural part, I find it very strange that this Valentine's day will find me hanging out with an orthopedic surgeon. But, since my right knee is currently quite a different shape from my left knee, that is where I will be.

Not that anyone likes to get hurt, but I have never before been so scowl-on-my-face mad about being injured, because it means I don't get to play for a while...I want to play!!! (er...fight?)

But I'll be back. Muwahaha.